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Foreword

Ulysses compared to Mammoth Obsequious is a doddle to read. Are you up to the challenge?

Get the Morphine bottle out and experience the curse of the Mammoth (nearly everybody in this book has died since I wrote it!)

OBITUARY

Alexander Fleuret overdosed on morphine and diazepam and drank himself to death in middle age. Tort, father to the above, died in his dotage, tortured to death by his son. Carl, gopher for the above two, morphine courier for Alexander, died clutching his heart in extreme agony in the early hours of the morning alone. Cockney Frank (Three-toed Sloth) inherited a fortune, an habitual thief who went through life penniless, drank himself to death. A dishonest kleptomaniac, he made 'deception' his middle name and carried out imaginary phone calls to his sister. Frankie C. (The Can Man) A good bloke by heart, he stopped drinking for a week and died! Billy Buck went 15 rounds with himself on a regular basis and always lost. One of life's great losers he took a count for ten and threw in the towel. ...Awarded the String Belt for being lifelong WBA/WBO/WBC (World Boozing Authority/Organisation/Championship). Norman (The Can't Man) An out-of-work dirty black jellyfish, who drank and didn't eat and shat himself to death after a massive liver failure. It is with great regret that I have to include a late departure, written off long after this book was written, and hence not included in it. Cockney John (No relation to Cockney Frank) was the best friend I ever had and died in January 2002, at the age of 51. I had stopped drinking by then and we had not been speaking for some time, so I don't know the exact circumstances of his death, but as I understand it, he too gave up and into the spirit. I could not be with him when he departed, nor could I keep my promise to drink a bottle of whisky and piss over his grave, as by then I had taken the pledge and he was cremated. He thought this book was crap. This book is dedicated to the memories of those brave men who fell in the line of duty, fighting the Curse of the Mammoth.